Well, it's been a year and a half since I wrote my last blog, and it seems like a lifetime given all that's happened and the way my life has changed. I stopped writing when things in Canada started to get serious; Angi, my precious daughter was still taking chemo and we were all determined to be hopeful. Alas, she died on May 3rd, 2015, and since then my life has been anything but normal enough to begin to blog again. But now I feel that it's time...
Last weekend I attended a retreat for newly-bereaved parents through The Compassionate Friends. The gathering - fifty parents and ten volunteers all of whom had lost a child - was at Willersley Castle hotel at Cromford in the Peak District. I met so many friendly helpful folk with whom I shared Angi's story, as they shared their childrens' stories with me. Sad - yes - but also uplifting as together we all felt less alone in our grief. We attended small groups tailored to our individual needs; we made candle jars which we all lit on Saturday evening. Poems were read and tears were shed, but together we found comfort and support.
I returned home, still profoundly sad that my family has been reduced to my three adult children, but with a sense of 'okayness' and the will to carry on as Angi would want me to. Life will never be the same without my sweet babe, and my norm has been forever changed. And yet there is no other way to proceed but to put one foot in front of the other and carry on.
Other than bringing back with me the feeling of support and so much empathy of all those at the gathering, I returned with a heightened sense of freedom - permission to grieve as I need. For me this message was the theme of the weekend, and I say a huge thanks to all those at TCF who give their time so freely and lovingly to offer encouragement to those in their time of need.
I would have liked to add some photos here but seem to have forgotten how to do that. Oh well, at least I've written this blog and will add photos when I can.
Last weekend I attended a retreat for newly-bereaved parents through The Compassionate Friends. The gathering - fifty parents and ten volunteers all of whom had lost a child - was at Willersley Castle hotel at Cromford in the Peak District. I met so many friendly helpful folk with whom I shared Angi's story, as they shared their childrens' stories with me. Sad - yes - but also uplifting as together we all felt less alone in our grief. We attended small groups tailored to our individual needs; we made candle jars which we all lit on Saturday evening. Poems were read and tears were shed, but together we found comfort and support.
I returned home, still profoundly sad that my family has been reduced to my three adult children, but with a sense of 'okayness' and the will to carry on as Angi would want me to. Life will never be the same without my sweet babe, and my norm has been forever changed. And yet there is no other way to proceed but to put one foot in front of the other and carry on.
Other than bringing back with me the feeling of support and so much empathy of all those at the gathering, I returned with a heightened sense of freedom - permission to grieve as I need. For me this message was the theme of the weekend, and I say a huge thanks to all those at TCF who give their time so freely and lovingly to offer encouragement to those in their time of need.
I would have liked to add some photos here but seem to have forgotten how to do that. Oh well, at least I've written this blog and will add photos when I can.
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